If I only had some….Throwing Card Knives?? I’d survive a Horror Film
How many times have you heard that in a horror film? Yeah about zero, I know….but I’m sure some of the victims of them would have survived a horror film if they’d only had something off this list…and they are all under $20! The equipment you carry with you could be the very thing that will help you survive a Horror Film!
First I’d like to say that we are in no way affiliated with the products here. Buy them, don’t buy them…it makes no difference to us. Just our own fantasies and making out wish lists for Christmas…which is only roughly 8 months away!
Well let’s get started, shall we?
Expand your repertoire of deadly skills with your acquisition of some throwing card knives. This five piece set of high-quality knives are made from stainless steel and styled just like playing cards so as to conceal your attack until the final moment. Think about it. Cornered by a slasher, pull out the cards and show it a card trick…Right to the face!
The cat ears self-defense keychain allows you subtly carry around an effective stabbing tool disguised as a cute kitty cat. The cat’s face comfortably conforms to your hand for a firm grip and comes in several colors so that you can match it to whatever monster is trying to murder you and eat your soul.
Let me guess…cell phone doesn’t work? Who would have thought it!? Increase your chances of getting spotted from a distance by popping off a green smoke grenade. Once activated, the grenade releases a massive cloud of colorful smoke that will alert potential helpers for miles around. Or maybe they’ll become pawns and be chainsawed INSTEAD of you.
Put Aquaman to shame by improving your performance on the water using these webbed fingers swimming gloves. Perfect for getting away from SharkNadoes, Jaws, or to help you survive any other water based horror movie.
Stay prepared for whatever the horror films throw your way with the self-defense money clip. Apart from keeping your dough neatly folded, it’s fitted with an integrated finger hole that lets you use it like brass knuckles – ideal for punching throat’s and testicle’s of the undead.
Okay, it’s not the most fashionable accessory but it may match your high heels as you are running through dense woods. The ring features an oversized pointed tip that protrudes outward when you form a fist so that you can quickly defend yourself against the wood demons from hell.
Arm your wallet with more than just the almighty dollar when you carry around the credit card sized folding knife. This waterproof razor sharp knife fits perfectly in a credit card slot and locks in place when the blade is extended to transform into a very capable knife. Capable of stabbing out the eyeballs of the Appalachian cannibals that are holding your family…for dinner.
Ensure your survival of a horror film is a total crowd-pleaser by incorporating this pyrotechnic trick powder into the act. This safe, all-natural organic powder comes in a compact and easy to conceal bottle that creates eye-catching flashes when dispersed over an open flame. Perfect for distracting the Blair Witch and showing her some “magic” of your own.
Keep your deadly weapon undetected with this dark assassin dagger with sheath, Styled like a fine medieval dagger, this beautifully crafted weapon features a 5-1/2″ stainless steel blade complete with custom sheath. Killing in style is the only way to truly survive a horror film.
The expedition sky flare is one gadget you don’t want to forget next time you adventure in the outdoors. Every launch serves the dual purpose of entertaining or signaling others for help as the horde of zombies slowly encircle your camp. Help will be on the way…just don’t be an appetizer.
Would Batman survive a horror film? Of course, he would and he would have these Batman throwing stars. They’re small enough to fit discreetly in your utility belt and are perfect for impaling everything from slashers in hockey masks to super alien hybrids trying to put an egg inside you.
Slash through those rotting zombie corpses like hot butter with the forearm blade sword. Constructed from anodized stainless steel, there’s no post-apocalyptic scenario you won’t be able to fight your way out of – except hunger, dehydration, and crippling depression
Stay protected without drawing too much attention to yourself by toting around the world’s smallest stun gun. Although it’s small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, this tiny little guy packs a powerful 6,000,000 volt punch that’ll stop a Hannibal Lecter or a Leatherface for sure.